If you’re single, in your 30s and beyond, and have been dating in this digital era, it can often feel exhausting, confusing, or even discouraging and hopeless at times (I know it was for me throughout most of my dating life). You might find yourself overthinking every message (or wondering why you haven’t received a response yet), questioning if someone likes you or if they met someone else (ughhh this feeling can eat at you!), or simply wondering why you keep attracting the wrong people or why it never seems to work out with someone you really liked. The truth is, after years of dating in this way, and trying something different in my late 30s, I’ve discovered that the key to better dating (one that just feels easier) often isn’t just finding the “right person” - it is building confidence, self-worth, and self-love first (it’s something I wished I had learned and created as a foundation for myself before I entered the dating world in my 20s!)

In this post, I’ll share five practical self-love practices that can transform not only your dating life but your daily confidence, joy, and sense of self (this is the foundation!)

1. Daily Affirmations That Build Confidence

Daily affirmations are small statements you tell yourself to reinforce your worth and cultivate positive beliefs. When you repeat affirmations like “I am deserving of love and connection” or “I bring value and joy to every interaction”, you gradually rewire your thinking, This takes time, and it might feel silly or untrue in the beginning, but eventually your brain and body will catch up.

Why it matters for dating:

Reduces self-doubt and overthinking
Helps you show up authentically on dates
Shifts focus from “Will they like me?” to “I am enough EXACTLY as I am”

Action step: Write down 1-3 affirmations each morning and repeat them aloud for 1–2 minutes before your day starts. Bonus points - write them down on pretty paper and carry it with you throughout the day, and use when doubt kicks in.

PS: I created a 21-Day Confidence Journal that is filled with juicy daily affirmations that helped build confidence in 21 days

2. Stay True to Yourself

Being authentic ie being completely yourself in dating and life is one of the most powerful forms of self-love. This means owning your quirks, values, and passions without trying to fit someone else’s idea of who you “should” be.

Why it matters for dating:

Attracts people who genuinely appreciate and resonate with the real you
Builds confidence and self-esteem because you’re honoring the you that you love
Reduces the temptation to compromise in ways that leave you feeling resentful or exhausted

Action step: Before your next date or social interaction, identify one thing that represents your genuine, authentic self - a value, a passion, or a quirky trait - and all ow it to shine through naturally. For me, an example is my love of watching re-runs (Gilmore Girls) vs the newest, trendiest show.

3. Prioritize Your Joy and Passions

When you focus on your own happiness, hobbies, and growth, you naturally radiate confidence and fulfillment. Dating becomes less about filling a void and more about sharing your abundant life with someone who complements it (swoon)

Action step: Dedicate at least one hour per week to a passion project, hobby, or activity that brings you joy simply for you - whether it’s painting, hiking, or trying a new fitness class. Notice how this energy translates into confidence on dates.

4. Mindful Reflection and Journaling

Keeping a journal helps you process feelings, notice patterns, and prevent overthinking from spiraling out of control. Reflecting mindfully allows you to recognize what’s working and what feels off in your dating life because usually with journaling, your subconscious thoughts pour to the service and they can be very telling.

Action step: After a date or social interaction, jot down:

What you enjoyed
What felt off
One takeaway that helps you feel more confident next time

5. Somatic or Body-Based Practices

Your body holds a lot of the stress, self-doubt, and anxiety around dating, again at a very subconscious level (we don’t know this is happening, but we FEEL it!). Simple grounding exercises - like deep breathing, stretching, or noticing physical sensations - can help regulate your nervous system and keep you present. This is especially useful in dating, but also a great general practice to re-calibrate and re-center.

Action step: Spend 5 minutes daily practicing a grounding exercise: sit comfortably, take slow breaths, and notice sensations in your body. This creates calm confidence before going on dates or approaching social interactions.

Putting It All Together

These five practices - affirmations, staying true to yourself, prioritizing joy, journaling, and somatic awareness - are small, actionable ways to boost self-love, confidence, and joy in dating and life. They are things that were super helpful to me when I started dating differently in my late 30s, and they are practices I use to this day to show myself some love.

If you want a guided, structured approach to put these practices into action each week, check out my 6-week Dating Reset program. It combines practical steps, exercises, and support to help you feel confident, enjoy dating, and meet people you genuinely click with (truly - and PS: this is the approach I took in my late 30s that actually changed dating for me, and amazingly enough, it’s what led me to my now incredible boyfriend).